At least, that is what I can’t help thinking.

The folks at CarNAYgie Mellon and some other excessively smart people have come up with a kick ass prototype for a supple little number for possibly traveling through your circ system and curing the signs of your fried chicken and potato chip diet.

It also works really nicely as a model for when you do your sweded version of Dune. Plus, 120 degrees of freedom! *rowwrrrr*

I told you this would happen.

“Metalosis Maligna” is a fictitious documentary created in 2006 by Floris Kaayk of Microbia about a mysterious new disease affecting people with implants.

via the Squid

Next weekend, those irrepressible Wieners from Monochrom, as well as the usual cast of San Francisco freaks, bring you Arse Elektronika 2007, along with a panel of luminaries including Slashdong (but of course!) and other accomplished hackers. What are they hacking? Well, we note in particular the following session as of interest to SB readers:

Pornomechanics: Sex Robots and the Mechanisms of Love

This presentation will begin with a viewing of the film “Love Machine” (2001), directed by Peter Asaro. This independently produced feature length documentary looks at the development of robots capable of entering human social relations of love, caring, and friendship. It also explores the social interests and fears surrounding their potential as sexual partners, augmenting or replacing human sexual interactions.

It features interviews with leading roboticists, philosophers, sexologist and inventors, including: Rodney Brooks, Hans Moravec, Ken Goldberg, Hubert Dreyfus, Daniel Dennett, Manuel Delanda, Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, Ernest Green, Lisa Palac, and others.

Following the film will be a discussion between film maker Peter Asaro and technology theorist Katie Vann, as well as an opportunity for audience questions.

The Rotor is old enough by now that he shouldn’t be embarrassed by stuff like this, but still is sometimes.

What else can I possibly say, except that the ACTICON NEOPSHPINCTER takes us closer to our predestined bionic future by being, according to the website, “the only implantable sphincter available for the treatment of severe fecal incontinence”.

As we sit here applauding their advances in such technology and desperately trying not to snicker, we discover that saying the mere phrase ACTICON NEOSPHINCTER immediately inspires us to shout something noble sounding in Japanese and magically change into a lot of spandex.

This affliction also causes us to continually refer to the ACTICON NEO- SPHINCTER in all caps.

While we fight this urge and the urge to knock down large building with every step, roaring with triumphant rage, please indulge in some more links about the NeoSphincter.

The Heartlander!

Developed by those clever nerds down at CarNAYgie Mellon University Robotics Institute (Head Rotor being one such clever nerd, go Tartans), The Heartlander is a very tiny, disposable robot that provides access for minimally invasive cardiac therapy.

This little woochie-coochie critter caterpillars across live, beating heart tissue, and gives access to surgeons to repair people’s dicky tickers. The fact that the mechanism is dispoable cuts down on infection, and the mass production aspect cuts therapy costs dramatically.

PLUS the patient gets a cute little toy to run up and down their hospital room window when they are done!*

Photos and video are here.

*not really, but I wish they would.

No, not the artificial Michael Jackson (how can anyone tell?), or even Kevin Warwick, it’s a “real” artificial sphincter. Though there’s certainly more than one awful joke there, I bet people who need it think it’s pretty cool. Follow this link for the product and this one for the snarky comments. Despite the date, this is the real deal, babes. Fooled ya!

I had the incredible honor last week of hosting an all day symposium on robotics for the American Assoc. for the Advancement of Science (AAAS - the mother org of Science Magazine.)

The speakers at the seminar were pretty much the dream team of US roboticists. I was incredibly lucky that all my first choice speakers agreed to come: Three speakers are in the Guinness Book, two have robots in the Smithsonian, one was the DARPA Grand Challenge winner, and between them enough patents to choke an attorney.

The best thing about the sessions, is that they are all incredibly gifted speakers as well as roboticists. The speeches weren’t the boring ones with lots of equations and graphs - but riveting videos of autonomous cars driving through traffic, animatronic bots that can learn and have abstract thinking, and demos of robots that will change the world.

One of the highlights of the event was Bob Full of Berkeley and Sangbae Kim of Stanford demonstrated their gecko-bot, which can climb up windows, walls, and almost anything else (I’m a sucker for live demos). The thing is, it’s not using suction cups, hooks, or tape. It mimics real geckos (who aren’t slimy) who have microscopic hairs that rely on the Van der Waals force for Directional adhesion. Basically this means that the days of masking tape, glue, and staples are over. This stuff can support hundreds of times it’s own weight, is infinitely re-usable, and can come off easily so long as you pull it the right way. Really short version - the robot climbed up the window, no problem-o. Some videos here.

Cynthia Breazeal (Kismet, Leonardo) gave a great talk on social robots. It seems that she’s taught Leonardo to do what I can’t get my freshman to do - understand other people’s points of view. Further, they’re teaching Leo to learn by example. This is the first real step by anyone to getting robots to learn by themselves, so the programmer doesn’t have to include every little variable in the db.

Sebastian Thrun (Grand Challenge winner) gave an awesome overview on their new robot, Junior. Not happy with getting a robot to drive through desert wasteland, Sebastian’s team is getting the robots ready for city streets. For those who can only see military applications, think about this: 40,000 people die each year in traffic accidents. Mostly, because of human error. Imagine a robot-car being able to brake instantly when the car ahead stops short, or better still, change lanes without worries of hitting someone else. A robot-car which will never hit a pedestrian because you were busy changing radio stations. A car that can let you sleep an extra hour while it commutes to work for you. This future is much closer than you think.

Robots aren’t just for helping people. Ken Goldberg of Berkeley talked about a robotic platform they’ve installed to look for the presumed-extinct ivory billed woodpecker. The survival of every species is keyed to our own survival, and Ken is showing how bots can be used to help man-animal interaction. His project has proven itself already, with hundreds of photos of actual birds. The system isn’t just a camera shooting video - it doesn’t need someone to go over every frame. The robots do it. The system figures out when a bird has gone by, and captures it. It’s even caught a helicopter. The woodpecker - if alive - is next.

I talked about domestic robots. Not as slaves, but companions. Robots who will help nurse the elderly, and allow doctors to check in on people at home - the return of the housecall! But it’s not just that simple. Bots can track blood pressure on a daily basis, dispense medicine at the right times (never miss your meds, never take too many), and even call for help when grandma falls and can’t get to the phone. As we talked about here, they’re not just helpers - they can become friends and playmates. My grandma is still crazy for the re-programmed Aibo I gave her (it talks to her, and performs on command.) No need for computer literacy, the robot does the tough stuff - people just interact.

Ah, the Pleo - everyone’s favorite tease-bot. John Sosoka of Ugobe brought two, and We played with it! It’s not ready for release yet, but the darn thing sure is cute. Pleo will really live up to it’s expectations - it’s got an incredible array of sensors and abilities, and moves in random, unexpected ways - which gets into your subconscience that it’s a real living thing, not just another collection of plastic and copper.

My colleague at SFSU, Mike Holden, gave a great talk on robot aircraft. Again, most people view them in a strictly military capacity. But Mike’s been developing them for agricultural use. Too often farmers over-fertilize, which is bad for the soil and can be bad for ground-water. But Mike’s planes can shoot complete maps of a crop in near-infrared, and show which plants need fertilizer, and which don’t. Which are dying, and which are thriving. Crop production can go up, while man-hours, waste and fertilization can go down. All using a 3×3 plane that can take off and land by itself, while producing better maps than any satellite ever could.

Last up was Khalid Al-Ali of CMU. Khalid doesn’t make robots so much as he gets kids interested in making robots. And they do. His course allow kids to do things that they can’t do elsewhere, and gain confidence they didn’t have. He told the story of a girl who built a GPS and camera guided R/C-sized truck. Her dad and brothers told her she couldn’t, cause she didn’t have a Y chromosome. She excelled, got excited about building bots, and is now on her way to becoming an engineer. I asked Cynthia and Missy SuicideBot if they still took that sexist crap. Noone would dare do it to Cyn (who’s one of my heroes, and possibly the smartest and most driven human being I’ve ever met.) As for Missy SuicideBot, she just kicked me in the groin. I took that as a ‘no.’

All of these people inspire me, and they are the ones on whom the future is being built. It was a great session, and I’m thrilled and honored that they all took part.

Some news links covering the various sessions:
Man’s best friend just might be a machine
Experts lay out scenarios for the next decade of robotic evolution
Robots join search for ivory-billed woodpecker
Make way for the robot with feelings
Making the right robot for the right job
Hello, I’m a Johnny cab, where to sir?
We’re going the way of the robot
Urban road race to test limits of robotic cars

Full abstracts below the link
(more…)

The Sensei™ Robotic Catheter System… provides a cost effective solution for your complex interventional procedures.

Yiiiiiiiikes!

SB pal Quinn Norton reports from a leading Korean robotics lab: software bots, genetic programming, and robotic personality are all on the menu.

“Someone said that men make robots because they can’t have babies,” says Naveen Kuppuswamy, gesturing across his cluttered lab to where an 20-inch high mechanical biped stands inert on a center table. “That’s our baby.”

Wired News: The Seoul of a New Machine

Roboexotica! Sounds like the new Esquivel! album, but it’s even better. It’s a Viennese robotics festival of machines that are really useful: they pour drinks! All the cool kids are there, (including SB and Mr. Robotics who have left me here to hold down the bunker. I’m sure they’ll have much to report so I will try to not thieve their thunder. Careful with that flamethower, guys!)
Here’s a cool wine-pouring bot by the great Kal Spelletich of Seemen:

Wish I was in Vienna!

[WARNING: this post has an image that some people might find squicky. Proceed with caution.]

Occasionally we here at Suicide Bots, like all the other people who work with tools and things, learn things in the shop that just cannot be taught any other way.

For example, say you had 1800lbs of lumber fall on you a while back. Say that today you happened to have been standing on a hard concrete floor all day, noodling with something or other, and you realize that the ankle you broke back then is really super swollen because you are a stubborn git who took his cast off at the first available opportunity (hypothetically, of course, WE don’t know ANYONE who would do THAT around here. . .).

You don’t have an ice pack and you can’t really perambulate around to get one, so what do you do?

Ladies and Gentleman, I bring you Shop Tip #2. The voluptuous curves of a plastic Coke bottle make a a stunning and ergonomically sexy ice pack to put some cold on the ankle right where it’s needed:

Right, I suppose I should mention Shop Tip #1. Shop Tip #1 was established before this site went live. Shop Tip#1 is the hard and fast rule that whenever you are stacking something (like oh say 1800lbs of melamine-coated pulp board) for PITY’S SAKE stack in such a way that it cannot fall on top of you when you are not looking.

It’ll take a couple extra minutes, but trust me it will save roughly six weeks, two titanium pins, several rounds of ineffective painkillers, and the embarrassment of having your significant other chasing the autonomous medication dispensary around the hospital with a camera phone:

Okay shop nerds, anyone have any other tips they care to share with the class?

They’ve ascended to the heavens on space shuttles, they have gone down to the depths of volcanoes and oceans. Now, Singapore researchers have stuck ‘em where the sun don’t shine. They’ve come up with a robotic solution to various kinds of incredibly traumatic surgery, reducing infection risk and speeding up the healing process:

According to Assistant Professor Louis Phee from the Nanyang Technological University (NTU), more can be done by “no-scar robotic surgery”, which involves accessing organs via natural orifices such as the mouth and anus.

An awesome solution with many, many, many, many possible benefits.