American Science and Surplus
January 13th, 2007 by The Head RotorOh God.
I love this place.
Ever needed a radio-controlled spider? Where can you find glow-in-the-dark maggots? Why do you need GITD maggots? The catalog knows exactly why:
Our each is a bag of [48] sickly-pale, squishy-soft rubber maggots – enough to infest your sister’s bedroom from floor to ceiling to under the pillow with plenty left over to stick in her yogurt.
How about a spring-loaded popping eyeball toy for LESS THAN A BUCK?
What is this cornucopia of crap? It’s American Science and Surplus, and if you are a craphound it will r0x0r your s0x0rs. It’s a happy (though unpredictable) day when the AS&S catalog arrives in the Rotor’s mailbox, complete with low-budget illustrations and frequently hilarious product blurbs.
Oh yeah. Robots. They got robots. Mostly toys, and mostly REALLY cheap, for example this dancing robot, or this micro-bug, or this hexapod monster kit, or this line-tracking mouse. And the priciest of those was what, forty bucks? Did I mention the cheap thing yet?
And they even have a special section of robot parts, including motors, lead-acid batteries (new, not surplus), and solar cells as cheap as you are likely to find ‘em.
What else? Laboratory glassware (at this point, the Rotor’s glassware fetish likely has the Feds convinced he is running a meth lab [I'M NOT GUYS, OK!?!] He also recommends the 50-ml beakers as an elegant vehicle for serving those fine postprandial liqueurs and single malts, or in the absence of those, Jägermeister.)
For those with a scientific-industrial fetish, there’s all sorts of lab coats and rubbery goodness. Have you ever seen anything quite as sexy as these gloves? Thought so. Other protective couture, includes chemical boots and Tyvek shorts. Hang on a minute. Tyvek shorts?? WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING OUT THERE THAT REQUIRES TYVEK SHORTS? Hold on — they are only a dollar a pair? Plonk in the shopping cart — I’m sure they will come in handy for something.
What else? Tools. Yes, all sorts of tools, including dental tools for you DIY dentists. (Also handy for scraping solder blobs or mis-applied epoxy).
If you swing the other way and like to play doctor, don’t feel left out. They have cheap latex gloves and — get this — a working stethoscope for six clams. “I’m ready for my examination now, doctor!”
There’s even a stethoscope for cars. Or bots. Kinky, eh? Six clams. How can you go wrong for six clams?
AS&S, I salute you, you restore my faith in the universe as a sublime fountain of abundance.
January 13th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Gaah! This will cost me SO MUCH money. I will want SO MANY things!
January 14th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
The 50 mL beakers are definitely good booze holders. Witness:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wdonohue/107884072/
And living only a mile or so away from one of their outlet stores is *definitely* hazardous to ones bank account.
January 15th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
God, I love AS&S. =D
January 15th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Okay, I would just like to be the first to point out that some poor sap’s google aggregator got to us by using the keywords “dark fetish”.
Rotor, I’m buying the next round.
February 21st, 2007 at 5:18 am
[...] What, you’re still here? Imagine my astonishment! Okay then – continuing the tradition of blaming someone else for strange and tasteless post topics, I hereby lay this one at the feet of my feiends at Suicide Bots. After reading this post I requested my very own catalog from American Science & Surplus. The AS&S catalog arrived in yesterday’s mail, I flipped through it, and – ah forget it, trust me you don’t want to know what I found. [...]